Erik Vanags claims he was born on October 10, 1972 in a van down by the river.
He currently lives in Mariemont with his wife, Lisa, and son, Noah. You can see
Mr. Vanags speed walk, middle aged women style, home for lunch most days because
of the close proximity of his home to his place of work. He engages the students
in discussions with odd accents including Scottish, British, Irish, Annoying Kid,
and that guy from King of the Hill (there are many more but for the sake of
going green we won’t mention all of them).He is of proud Latvian descent from
both sides of his family. Before he became a teacher, he held a number of odd
jobs, including landscaper and tennis pro (even though he had no previous
training). Some say that he was the inspiration for Link (the sheriff)
from the classic 1960’s movie
The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are
Coming. Some believe that he was dropped on his head as a small child
and, therefore, lacks sympathy, kindness, and hair. He received his
Bachelors at Ohio University but it is still up to debate whether it is
a real diploma. Mr. Vanags received his Masters from the Black Market where
he bought it for four dollars and a paper clip.
Mr. Vanags started his teaching career at Milford where he taught for 11 years.
Why he decided to leave and come to Mariemont is something us students wonder
every day. While at Milford, he taught Math, Physical Education, Technology,
History, How to Talk in Fabulous Accents, and NFL Football: Why so Many
Commercials and Not Enough Playing Time?! Currently, Mr. Vanags teaches World
History I and II, Sociology, and Philosophy. He also coaches the JV boys’
soccer team.
In the 2008 school election, legacies, Maddie Barnhill and Alyssa Dockery,
campaigned for his write-in candidacy. Surprisingly, Mr. Vanags came in
third place coining the slogan “A Vote for Vanags is a Vote for Latvia.”
Though some students, Madeline Robb in particular, think his attire is absurd,
most accept his fashion and opt not to comment.
In the end, Mr. Vanags is just a cynical man who imparts wisdom to the
innocent youth of Mariemont High School.
By Maddie Barnhill
Erik'''' Vanags hails from the northern swamplands of ra'sha'vel.
He is a warrior who has been alive for over 400 years.
Known to crush mens skull between his toes he is a vicious warrior.
His prefered weaponry is a set of 5 foot great swords wielded in
each hand. He doesn't need a shield because they are just to hide
behind. People hide from him... He roams the world today in search
of his last known enemy from a rivaling tibe. Bol'derake''' the evil
gnome giant lurks somewhere in Mariemont township and has brought
Erik to the highschool in pursuit of his quest.
By Ian Williams
